Wednesday, February 28, 2001

Tuesday, February 27, 2001

1999 and 2000 were two truly fucked-up years, …that's for sure! Everything is very cool now, though, so no worries. Actually, I'm having one of those few times when I am happy right here and now. Most times are comfortable and satisfactory, but it's not until years later, when they are gone, that I realize "those" times were great. I'm having a great time right now ;)

Here's an example, …I haven't been to the dentist since I joined the Service, …the Gaming Service, that is. Five years! I am embarrassed as I admit that, but there you go. I finally mustered the courage to go in today. I was certain I was going to have a mouth full of caries and cavities, …know how many I have? …zero! …zip! …niente! What a great time I am having right now! … ;)

Speaking of the dentist, …I am reminded of, again, the way that things used to be. I didn't go to the dentist for five years partially because being a game designer is much like being a nuclear submariner. At least you feel like you submerge from everything but your little tiny world for long, long periods of time. I went four years without going to a doctor, too, and I only did that last year because I thought I was pissing blood from the stress of 1999 and 2000.

Anyways, the REAL reason I didn't go to the dentist was because I absolutely dread the dentist! This is a definite irrational phobia because the dentist really doesn't hurt anymore, at least when you go regularly. I still have a terrible time being the adult and I think that is from deeply seeded pain I felt as a child.

My first dentist, until the age of ten, was a Doctor Frank Pasanelli. God! …the very name still makes me cringe. I'm sure he had his reasons, …baby teeth don't have developed nerves; the more it hurts, the more he'll brush next time; …whatever the reason, …he never used novocaine, …ever! It wasn't until I moved to New Canaan and changed dentists that I even knew the stuff existed. Being a child of the 1960s, with the vast and plentiful wealth of preprocessed sugars, and a child of two working parents who couldn't watch me all the time, …I usually had 3-6 cavities per visit. No novocaine! Drill, drill, drill. I can still feel the excruciating, icy pain as the drill spun deeper and deeper into the dentine. Christ, I have to stop here…

Thursday, February 22, 2001

It's just beyond cool! …it's cool to make games for a living, but it's even more cool to get the fringe benefits. Magazine articles, television and radio spots, …and now, cameos in the up-and-coming DOOM III!

Now HERE is an interview question! Sent in by a guy, ...we'll call him "Dave", ...and he obviously IS here, ...it was a simple email. It is, however, an example of an interesting and 'probing' question:

"Hey buddy I'm a fan of yours and I know that you might know a thing or 2 about bongs, so I thought I'd throw you an e-mail and find out if you have any special bong designs that you'd like to share. I've never made one before, so any advice period on them would be great! Ehh... in case I shouldn't be writing about this to your work e-mail, lets just say that the bong is for tobacco purposes only... hehe heh yeah...

"This was sent in by Jobe, by Jove! I'm not sure, but I think there is a message in hidden here?
 

Wednesday, February 21, 2001

I made some tasty ziti over the weekend, and I made enough to bring some into work. I packed half of it into a margarine container and set it in the frig to take in to the office the next day. I did that, I grabbed the margarine container and I went to work the next day.

I love ziti, …who doesn't. Pasta, gobs of mozzarella cheese, hamburger, and sauce, …all of which were bought at the health food store where the cost is grand, but the taste is preferred. I sat for the first few hours of the day contemplating this ziti, ….mmmmm, …gobs of cheeeese!

Finally, around 9am, I went for it. This is what I found… The moral? …of course, we already know, …Smoking dope is for dopes!
 

Tuesday, February 20, 2001

I did it! …I finally did it! I signed-up for Russian at Richland College! I'll be fried in mink oil before I'll let those dirty, pinko ex-commies talk about me behind my back! Za Russkih, moi droogs ;)

I haven't been on campus, as a student, since my days at NYU in 1991. It's a cool feeling. School is one of those things I hate and I love, all at once. There isn't anything much worse than studying for tests and reading and sitting in libraries looking-up information, but there is also nothing as rewarding as learning new shit. Listen up, kids, getting a degree is one of the coolest things I have ever done, …stay in school, you'll be glad you did, I promise ;)
 

Monday, February 19, 2001

Then I suddenly remembered seeing, on the very same channel not too long ago, a show about nudist colonies. I remembered how they black-taped all the shots of the boobs in this show. That reminded me of childhood and how the only place I ever saw naked women, apart from the live nudes in art classes (Dad was an art educator), was in National Geographic. All these women, like the "Snapshots of Africa", were non-white.

Is it just me, or does all this reek of some sort of prejudice such that it is okay to show non-Caucasian breastesses because all the media censors are funky white biscuits with hang-ups about getting too turned on by shots of bouncing cracker boobs with pink nipples and, …and, …and why can't I put bouncing, swaying boobs in my games!?!

Me and Roberto (2nd and 3rd from left, bottom row) in the 1st grade

Hey! …over here! …this eventually, brought me around to remembering my first best friend in 1st grade and how I learned that we really are all the same inside. Roberto Matienzo was Puerto Rican and he was my first best friend. We never hung around much together after 1st grade, and I'm not sure why that happened.

I mention he was Puerto Rican because the neighborhood we grew-up in was a good mixture of Puerto Ricans, African Americans, and Caucasians. This was the early 1960's and times of riots and social unrest based on skin. The word "prejudice" floated in the air like smog in LA, but as children, we really didn't know there was much of a difference between us. Things changed as we grew up, but in 1st grade nothing really mattered unless you were fat.

Anyways, I remember going over to Roberto's house on Saturday. For some reason, he didn't flush the toilet after taking a dump. I went into the bathroom, looked into the bowl, and there sat a greenish terd. Greenish!?! I had never laid anything other than browns and liquid versions thereof in my life! Green? …do all Puerto Ricans shit green?

Weeks went by and I remember this being in the back of my head the entire time. Roberto was a great friend, but green shit, …well, it caused a sort of identity dilemma for me. It wasn't until a year or so later, after I didn't hang with Roberto anymore, that I discovered a green terd can be had by anyone who eats enough spinach or asparagus or collard greens. I realized that we all were the same inside!
 

Friday, February 16, 2001

…site of the week ;)
 

Wednesday, February 14, 2001

Related to entering the industry, Mike Porter found a cool-looking game today called "Pencil Whip". Although it was obviously done by creative and talented artists (ChiselBrain Software), it shows what can be done if you have the passion to make games. I haven't played the game yet, I'm just talking about the screen shots, cool?.

Imagine you're a level designer wannabe, …but you can't write game engine code nor even create what you think are "professional" textures. So what do you do, …you grab the DOOM engine, or any older free engine, and you make your levels. Art is a weakness? Use your weakness as though it was your strength!

I remember two things from art class, …a class in which we had to paint and draw with only three colors, and a teacher that said "If you make a mistake, or your work goes in a direction that you didn't intend, …make pretend it is what you had in mind all along!". A small palette does not a small artist make, and if someone asks you about a mistake or shortcoming in your work, …say "Oh ya, I did THAT on purpose!" ;)
 

Tuesday, February 13, 2001

Thursday, February 8, 2001

Okay, I called the people at GrayMatter Software Solutions and we mulled over this one for months, debating whether to go public with it or not. It is educational and even entertaining; it is also embarrassing and any amusement is at our expense ;)

Seriously, this is a letter I wrote to Jay Wilbur back in 1994. I had just released four DOOM levels on CompuServe's Action Forum and my new friends were Dr. Sleep, Malvern Blackwell, Christian Klie, and David Bruni. Little did we know back then, …well, I did, …but I have special powers.

This letter is so humiliating, and I know I am going to regret showing it. However, I get so many of these myself now that I thought it only fair show everyone that we developers are no better than scurrying wannabes, …we're just extremely lucky. Please don't email me with laughing and chiding remarks, …I'm not very stable as it is.

I remember getting an actual phone call from Jay saying "…id REALLY prefers you didn't do anything like this!". I was so stoked! Nevermind the rejection, …I actually got a phone call from Jay Wilbur!

Shit! …Jay works for Epic now, too! …you see the insidious infiltration going on as you look back over the years, don't you! …I do! …sorry, where was I? ...oh yes, Jay and id, …I was so hammered!

I was the Manager of Software Engineering at an aerospace firm in Connecticut and I had just cut my first four levels in DOOM. Remember the craze that was DOOM? …and Trent Reznor was just taking firm ground? What a time! …racing home (the best was Frinight with the anticipation of an entire weekend of Imp Hunting) to grab whatever psychotropic provisions you would need for 6-8 hours, a pack a mules, turning off all the lights, cranking up NIN, and watching that loading screen appear. If you were not alive for the Beatles' first tour of America, it was much the same. In so many ways, actually, id reminds me of the Beatles. That's another story, though ;)

Then the DEU editor came out. I couldn't believe it! You mean I can freely make my own, …what are they called? …levels? Someone else did the mind-breaking programming and laborious art? …and all I have to do is all the fun stuff? Fucking A! …I can make an entire revamp (I think these are called "mods" or "TCs" or some shit now? ;) and make tons of money, …if I could get id's permission and an artist to do some re-texturing! Hell, I know PhotoShop, …I'll do the whole thing myself. I'll write to id and convince them of my unique and original idea! Naivete is so embarrassing!

The GrayMatter Software Solutions, BTW, was a company I was starting because Corporate America was killing me. It has nothing to do with the viable game company we all love today ;)

BTW, GrayDOOM is available here.
 

Tuesday, February 6, 2001

Not sure if ANYONE caught this one. Because of all the love we share with Eric and Chet, we put two OMM Easter Eggs in Heavy Metal. Many have sent screenshots of the easy one in the Fog Temple, but I don't think anyone has mentioned the hard one. I thought it would have been noticed right away, too, since I put it in such a fitting place. There was a rock formation in the Under level that was supposed to look like, …well, …two legs opening wide (*you* try that with Quake brushes!;) for Julie once she killed the first Grawlix. With that hint, and these screenshots, can you see the egg now?

Monday, February 5, 2001, part deux

"So Richard Gray, a level designer at Ritual, has been doing this Dallas Area Game Developer Drinking Night thing. I can't think for the life of me why game developers would want to hang around with other game developers. Anonymous net based social interaction is already painful enough...to add some kind of physical sight/sound interface on top of it strikes me as being patently masochistic."

No wonder Ms Reinhart didn't have fun at the party! It wasn't THAT kind of a party and noone would even stand near him, let alone talk to him, ...her, ...whatever.
 

Monday, February 5, 2001

Well, we finally did it! We finally got the entire Dallas Gaming Community out to party together. It took the lure of free beer and the rumor of acid-spiked cider, but almost every developer was represented at Ozona's last Frinight for the 2001 Semi-Annual Grand Ground Hog Day Celebration. For those I neglected to invite, please accept my apologies and know it was only an oversight due to mass confusion. You will be on the list next time! Here are a few shots…
 

David "I work AT god, not with him!" Eddings and I arranged the event with the manager of Ozona's, but I don't think they knew what was coming. They reserved a corner of the bar that we easily filled by 7:30pm. By 9:00pm we had overrun the entire bar. There were about 100 people and it was very cool! What was really cool about the turnout was that it showed the change in the industry. We used to be a bunch of pasty white, asocial geeks that stayed home in front of our computers while watching X Files and Buffy. Now we are a bunch of pasty white, asocial geeks that get drunk and throw-up on each other! …and tape X Files and Buffy for later.

Some of the festivities not pictured: The Bust the Jim Molinets Pinada. The Toast to JeffK, who was in town for the MarryK Convention. The "Who Can Think of a Funy Name for Tom Hall's New Band" contest. The Programmer's Jello Wrestling Match. The Levelord's Drinking Game (which was actually postponed due to Joe Siegler not attending to officiate the event). Also postponed was the Pin the Bar Stool on George Broussard (he was a no-show and claimed to be busy with some little game he's working on, …pasty white, asocial geek!).
 

Saturday, February 3, 2001

First, a quick yet sincere "Thanks!" goes out to my friend Silvano Bucic, the Editor of PC Play in Zagreb, for first introducing me to Serious Sam. I still remember meeting him at E3 in 2000 and him handing me this homemade CD with the words "Serious Sam Levelord" written on it. He said "You must play THIS game!". I remember thinking "Oh Jees, now I'm going to have to play this thing and tell him I liked it and make up reasons why, …there goes a day or two of my precious down time!". Well, I've lost much more than a few days in Sam, and I am grateful, Silvano ;)

I spent all weekend playing Serious Sam again. One of the cool things about being the CroTeam's #1 Fan is that I get their latest-and-greatest hot from the oven. I played most of the day Saturday and most of the day Sunday. I only got to the 7th level, BTW, with the skill level set at 'normal'. I would consider this the 'nightmare' skill level. Those Croatians are too serious! … ;)

As we can see in the picture, I spent most of the time pulling up my little pink dress and running for the nearest corner or column. This is such a refreshing game! Serious Sam is the DOOM of the New Millenium, …no reading screens and screens of text, no watching cinematics and writing shit down, no elaborate puzzles, barely a hip-hop or maze to be found.…nothing but fast-paced shooting, running, and dying.

If you're not a fan of imbedded story lines and developing characters, …this is the game for you! If all you want to do is go in there and shoot bad guys and fear for your virtual existence as you look for health, ammo, and better weapons, …this is the game for you!

So many times I think "No fucking way! Noone can get passed this room!" while playing Sam. I storm off, usually to get something to eat or get stoned, or both, …then come back and find out that I can indeed get passed the room if I shoot quickly and accurately enough, and with the best weapon selection for each group of enemies.