In an interview shortly afterwards, Mr. Nix stated "The only cook books I know of are Betty Crocker's, and she's as American as you can get!".

Actually, I wasn't going to post this at all because I was embarrassed and it didn't seem all that funny to me, but it got enough laughs around the office that I figure "What the hell!".

I went home early last Thursday, at about 2pm.  We have been crunching REAL hard for weeks.  I haven't been to my grocery store in over 6 weeks, subsiding entirely on office food sandwiches, pizza, and lasagna.  I figured it was time for a break.

At about 4pm, I decided to lay down on my bed and watch television.

To set the scene, you should know that I typically get up between 5am-7am.  No alarm clock is one of the benefits of this job, BTW.  I grab a shit, shower, and sometimes shave, ...and I often stop at McDonald's for an Egg McLovin' and large orange juice on the way into work.

Anyways, I fell asleep while watching television.  I suddenly sprung out of bed and saw the clock, ...it was 7:30!  The sun was already up and, although I was way behind my normal schedule, I decided to go to McDonald's before any of the other morning tasks.  I hadn't had lunch or even dinner the day before because I fell asleep.  Besides, the crunch was over and I had time to make pretend it was Saturday or Sunday.

I hopped in my van and headed for McDonald's.  Everything seemed normal, ...normal amount of sunlight for the morning, normal amount of traffic for that time of day.  Everyone seemed in a rush, but I had plenty of time on my hands.

I rolled into the drive-through and asked the woman for my two Egg McMuffins and  large orange juice.

She said, with that barely audible microphone/speaker system, "We only serve that during breakfast hours, sir.".

"Breakfast hours?" ...did I hear that right?  "Those don't stop until 10:30, no?", I asked.

"Yes, sir, they do."

"...but it's 7:45, right?"  

I'm starting to feel the internal confusion.  Is it really me?  ...or is this woman McFucking with my head for some reason?  ...am I drunk or dreaming or something?  I almost always suspect these moments of confusion are my fault because, well, they usually are.  I was sure, however, that breakfast hours do not stop until 10:30am.

"...yes, sir, it is, ...at night!"

It was still Thursday night, ...and Twilight Zone City it was for the Levelord!

Took me 5 minutes to regroup my shit and order a Big Mac.  I have had this happen before, waking up and not knowing what time it is, but never has the amnesia lasted more than a minute or so.  Laugh if you must, but I was honestly quite scared at the time.

Most of my life, especially the Psychotropic 1970s and Metachemical 1980s, has been spent thinking that going crazy would be cool.  A natural trip, me often believed.  Not so when you really do lose your grib, though, not so at all!

Read the news at the Adrenalin Vault this morning.

I never have quite understood our attitude towards rain.  To me, rain is wonderful!  I can be in the middle of the shittiest of days, ...and believe you me, this is one of them, ...but I can only feel content when it rains.  If it rained four or five days a week, I'd be happy.

I think some of this comes from my childhood.  I have always preferred to stay home and play with myself, ...I mean, ...find things to do by myself, ...sometimes, of course, this is in fact playing with myself, ...actually, make that often, ...I mean, ...shit, ...anyways,

...the rain always offered the supreme reason not to go out and hang with the gang, most of which was a lot of talking about "Well, what do you want to do today?".  I know what I want to do today, ...I want to go home and play with my Hot Wheels and Major Matt Masons and Tinker Toys!

Now, as an adult, I enjoy sitting at home and just watching and listening to the rain.  I love to open all the windows and let that smell breeze through my house, ...tune into the Weather Channel to watch the beast roll through, ...although, ironically, this is when the great services of fricken AT&T Cable shuts down because of the weather.

If I'm indulging in Russian Potato Juice, which, like playing with myself is more often than sometimes, I will go out into my backyard, clad in only a T-shirt and briefs, ...sometimes less, ...and walk around until I'm completely drenched.  I love the sharp, rapid staccato of tingling sensations as the cold rain drops hit my face.  (Don't send emails about my poor, poor neighbors!  You'd be sending them to someone that would walk around naked if it were legal;)

Maybe it's the name Gray, but I love an overcast, rainy days!

Speaking of good, this update is related to good, ...and how too rarely is it the good guys that win.

This time, though, they did!  Hat's off to the entire XGR Team!  A snippet from a press release yesterday:

Broadcast on Friday nights from 11 pm to Midnight EST (starting July 12th), after the play-by-play of the Orioles baseball games, “X-treme Gaming Radio” will cover news, reviews, interviews, and have call-ins all about the $32 billion video gaming industry (projected by Informa Media Group for 2002). The program was created and is produced by XGR.com, the first 24/7 online radio station devoted to video gaming.

...special congrats to my friend Senior Roberto "Paligap" Kirschenbaum, ...nice work, Bro!  This goes to show everyone that cherry trees are not just filled with fruit!

I have a difficult time accepting the predictions in most of these stories because so much in them is either too familiar or too outrageously strange, ...in a silly way.  Here's a way to look at the situation from the other side.

The picture to the right is from Pink Floyd's Live at Pompeii, recorded in 1974 in an amphitheater in Pompeii.  Great, great concert, ...especially if you're a Floyd fan.  The video has a few other cool aspects as well.  If you've seen The Comic Strip's Bad News Tour or Rob Reiner's This is Spinal Tap, you'll get a laugh from the inter-song cut scenes.

Back to the main topic, though, ...Pompeii was destroyed 2000 years ago (79AD).  As I watch this video, I wonder what a Roman from that time would think.  I wonder how confounded and completely lost he would be, yet still recognize that he was on Earth and among fellow humans.

There are, of course, the obvious things such as the language, the clothing, the style of music, and the fact that the beautiful architecture he once knew is now overgrown rubble.

For me, it is the strangely familiar aspects of a good sci-fi that are important.  Blade Runner is a great sci-fi!  The Roman, for instance, would recognize the drum set and would recognize the two lyre-like instruments.  Strange lyre-like instruments, though, ...strangely shaped and with no sound coming from them.  The sound rather comes from these huge black boxes connected to the lyre-like instruments by long, thin ropes that bend with the ease of un-waxed wicks.  What a sound it is, too!  Booming, thunderous sound echoing (great video of the song Echoes, coincidently) throughout the entire amphitheater.  An empty amphitheater?  For whom are these people playing? 

...and the strange torches casting super-bright light yet with no flames.  This, ...this would be great Roman sci-fi!

Age 30

Age 40

Age 50

Now, the examples to the left are extreme, but they show what happens to you as you go through your decades.  The first photo is what I saw when I was 20-years old.  Likewise, the second shows what I saw when I was 30.

The third is what I saw yesterday.  It didn't strike me until I was in the elevator returning to my desk.  I had paid more attention to the bike than the woman.  Kind of sad, I suppose, but then again, the bike didn't make it hard to go back into my level editor and concentrate.

The last picture is what I anticipate seeing 5 years from now ;)

...although I feel a little corny saying this, ...I must confess that I get goose bumps almost every time I hear "God Bless America".  I turned on CNN this morning in time to catch this beautiful woman singing in her Marine uniform.  I would have stood at attention were it not for the fact that I was, ...well, ...sitting down at the time.  My entire body flared with piloerections, though.

Very funny, Paul, ...very funny indeed!  You've incurred the wrath of not only me_®, ...but John The Romero , Stevie Killcreek-Me-Now, AND Bill At The Gates?

...of them all, I know where you live!  ... ;)

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